﷽
اَلسَّلاَ مُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ
Dengan
hidayah yang diberi oleh Allah SWT, saya nekad untuk berhijrah dan mengambil keputusan
untuk bertudung dan mengubah penampilan.
I know someone will doubt with my decision, tapi malas mahu fikir apa
orang akan kata. It's up
to them, biarlah meraka dengan
tanggapan mereka tu. Kalau boleh buanglah tanggapan tu jauh-jauh dan doakan
kebaikan untuk diri saya. So grateful my grandpa & grandma support and always beside me. Tapi belum lagi mendapat respon dari keluarga
dan kenalan rapat.
My conscience .. want to improve myself, improve human
relations and to
Allah SWT. Saya melaksanakan tanggungjawap sebagai hambaNya dan kewajipan
sebagai muslimah.
Honestly, it's been a long time I plan, niat to wearing hijab and close to Allah SWT. “Seru” ini bermula pada awal ramadhan lagi, memang tergerak hati untuk
berubah, went I see a lot of friends who turn images to hijab, particularly my best friend. At the first, I just don't
care… deep in my heart and
plan..I’ll start it on Hari Raya
Aidilfitri this year and give them..my family.. surprise with my changes. However, it's doesn't work because I’m not sure dengan niat saya tu. But I won’t give
up, in the other side keiginan saya itu
membuak-buak, my heart does not calm..than I try to change it slow by slow / step by step. In the end, saya nekad
untuk memakainya dan perubahan ini harus diteruskan pada Sambutan Hari Raya Aidiladha nanti. In the meantime I will do slow to
collect my own hijab.
However, akibat musibah yang datang pada 11 oktober baru-baru ini amat besar
untuk dihadapi. A close friend has said his intention to propose me to be his wife. A discussion was made to hear
the final word from me but the discussion became tense and hot as my rejection
of this proposal on.. My family, all of them were angry with my decision until
they produce a word that I cannot accept. I Know he’s a good man, the right
choice.. but I still cannot accept any man, I'm not ready yet for this level. For me, we must believe that jodoh from Allah SWT.. I'm not sure
anymore. They all put the blame on me and like to believe that I refuse because I could not resist
and still hoping my-ex.. But in fact, No! I still have problems with myself,
noticing my own.. I lost my self-confidence and fear of trying again after what
happened before. I do not want the old stuff all over again.. I made mistake
before but now I trying to fix myself and I need support from them..my family.
I’m begging them..it's not easy for me. I know they
love me..They care about me.. But berat
mata mereka yang memandang.. berat lagi saya memikulnya..and it just happened. Ya Allah…Ya Rabb..pinjamkan aku kekuatanMu..
I believe that, what is happening is a reminder from Allah SWT.
Musibah ini telah meyakinkan aku untuk
berubah terus dan seterusnya mendekatkan diri kepadaNya. I am grateful for
what happened, this is the wisdom behind what happened and it has convinced me.
Great gratitude through shared experience because it taught me a lot, Make me
mature and better...
After this "Penhijrahan", I feel closer
to Allah SWT. Allah SWT gave me peace of mind that I can't says with words.
Hopefully< I will grow courageous and strong to weather anything that would
happen in the future ... Fighting!!! & Be Strong!
bye..
XOXO,
Dida..
